your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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