He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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