haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
