i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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