Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
