so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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