I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
