he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
