come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
