We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
