Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
