Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
