How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
