Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
