I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
