I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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