She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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