I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
