I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
