I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
