just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
