I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
