Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
