i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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