are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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