hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
