Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
