My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is Oprah even human
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
