dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
