I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
