so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
