Do you still have your period?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
