There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
