Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
