Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
