I want to walk on stilts...naked
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
