you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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