I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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