we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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