There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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