Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
