I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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