Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize