Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
