yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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