If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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