Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
