Whatcha textin bout Willis?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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