ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
