you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
